Girlfriends that call you out on your shit and hold you up through the darkness

 I have a bunch of awesome friends who have held me up through the worst time of my life. They call me out on my bullshit, they tell me when I am being unrealistic, shoot down my pointless dreams. But they built me up, they held me tight through the dark days, they listen to my insecurities and worries for hours on end and they never give up on me! 

I would not be here, being me, sitting upright if it weren’t for this lovely bunch of women from different parts of the world always being there for me. Thank you, ladies, I owe you my smiles and unbroken dreams, and for the vibrator! I did not know how important a vibrator is in the life of a working mum! All you single ladies, a vibrator will never fail you, give it a go!  

So, I am now focussing on what I want my life to be, building my life back up, brick by brick. I cleaned up all those beautiful terrariums that had been neglected, brought my plants indoors! Put up photos of the kids on a wall we now call the family wall, and let the pets roam free in the house. All these things sound basic, but for me it was liberation! Each step into the new normal feels like I am slowly crawling out of my shell, ready to be vulnerable again.  

I wake up to the sounds of the birds singing to me, my face hurts of smiling so much, and I cannot have enough of how beautiful I feel!  

One night one of my girlfriends came over for wine o clock and a sleep over. She was flummoxed to learn that in my 40 years I had only ever been with 2 men and a vibrator; and that months after being separated hadn’t even gone out for a harmless coffee with someone yet. She was obviously worried that with gravity working against my declining assets, I needed to get in the game quick! She took my phone, played on my dating profiles for a couple of hours and that was, let say the beginning! 

I finally went on my first date exactly 3 months and 29 days after my separation.