As I lay in bed this morning, naked, admiring my body through the lens of my phone camera, it occurred to me that I have spent decades body shaming myself about the little that I did not have, and been completely oblivious to how gorgeous the rest of me is! Self-doubt and shame about the imperfections of my body have made me spend these years in misery, drawing criticism from others of course, because isn’t that the law of attraction? We draw to us what we think! But this morning as I lay in bed, looking at myself in the soft morning light, the first thoughts I felt were of how beautiful I am! I have a wholesome, fit, beautiful body and am lucky to have the energy to continue to invest in it.
So, my focus this spring is to build on the beautiful me and do things I wanted to be able to do but never did, as I have the most precious commodity at my disposal – time!
I have decided to spend my time learning to do things I always thought would be a “next life” bucket list! I am doing a 31-day course online to get to a handstand with this amazing Yoga instructor – Carling Harps and have enrolled in classes to build my core. So what, if I am a 41-year-old woman who has had two C-sections? I deserve a strong core and a flat tummy too! I definitely deserve to see what the world looks like upside down!
I have created a reward chart for myself, it works for the boys, so maybe it will work for me too! I get a star each day for every positive activity – yoga, run, 15,000 steps, no alcohol and staying sugar free! It’s been a week and the data I have collected suggests we may have a problem with alcohol… oops!
I will do the Handstand and core building yoga daily all spring and see if standing on my hands will give me a different perspective about the world this summer! I will run when I can and walk when I cannot. I will soak up the sunshine, have oodles of tea and enjoy the sounds of the birds tweeting in my backyard.
I will remember to put a smile on my face whenever a frown creeps up, and remind myself of how positively ravishing I look when I have just woken up and the fears of “what ifs” and “could have beens” haven’t yet starting gnawing at the edges of my soul!
I will spend more time on building myself up because I deserve to love me!